You can spend your whole life worrying about what other people think of you. Alternatively, you can be smarter and save your nerves. Almost everyone wants to be liked. A desire to be fancy to others came into being with us.
As we grow older, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from the opinions of other people, but many of us continue to search, and in some cases, ask for approval of their actions from others. This can lead to serious problems, especially when it comes to creativity and self-esteem.
People respond to everything that surrounds them. We have long-formed expectations about how the world should be structured and how people should behave. We attach great importance to the opinions of other people.
When you fully rely on the evaluation of other people, you try to please them in every possible way, want to rise in their eyes and ultimately lose your “individual self“.
So why do we sometimes not like our drawings, or in general, our creative works? Why do we criticize what we have created? Why are we worried that someone will not like it?
Everyone has their own ideals. Most often, we compose them as a consequence of observing other people’s creativity. We want to attain ideals, but as everyone knows, this is not easy.
By comparing our drawings with our ideals, we are always unhappy. The higher your skill is – the higher are your ideals. Of course, you will reach new heights if you want, but it will only be seen for those around you, and you still will think that your works are not so good.
I will give a few examples on how not to worry about what other people think of you.
Remind yourself that many people don’t think about you at all.
If it seems to you that someone thinks of you badly, mentally criticizes you, stop: maybe this is a game of your imagination? Perhaps this is just an illusion that feeds your inner fears and self-doubt. If you constantly engage in self-flagellation, this will become a real problem that will poison your whole life.
Think with your own head.
Sit down and in a relaxed atmosphere think about what place in your life takes someone else’s opinion. Consider situations in which the ratings of others are significant to you. Determine how you react to them. If you understand that the ratings and opinions of others determine your self-esteem, then consider changing your behavior pattern.
Learn to cut off unnecessary noise.
The more often you do this, the faster it will become a habit. The ultimate goal of all this is to never let the opinions of others determine what kind of person you are, how you live and what you draw.
Feel free – don’t try to find out what others think of you.
When people begin to publicize their creations, they often worry whether others will like it. They worry even more when they torment themselves with thoughts that other people do not like their works. Until one day they understand how much energy and strength they spend on these useless experiences.
May you have a new mantra that you will repeat to yourself day after day:
This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my lessons. I should not care what others think about it.
Pay attention to what is really important.
People will always think what they want. You cannot control thoughts of others. Even if you carefully choose your words and you have excellent manners, this does not mean that everyone will like you. Everything can be misinterpreted and turned upside down.
What really matters is how you evaluate yourself. Therefore, when making important decisions, try to be 100% true to your beliefs and values. Never be afraid to do what you think is right.
Start by listing 5–10 qualities that are important to you.
Here is an example:
- self esteem;
- focus on success and so on.
If you will have such a list, you will be much less likely to make unweighted decisions, you will have a system of principles and ultimately you will have to respect yourself.
Stop thinking that someone doesn’t like your works – this is not the end of the world!
If they do not like what I paint? What if a person who is unindifferent to me will say that he doesn’t like my works? These and similar questions torment people too often.
Remember: if somebody didn’t like what you have painted and even if the person you care about doesn’t admire your works, this is not the end of the world!
Nevertheless, people continue to be afraid of this particular mythical “doomsday” and allow fears to prevail over, constantly feeding them.
Ask yourself: “If my fears come true and the worst happens, what will I do?” Tell yourself a story (or better write it down) about how you will feel after you are told that somebody didn’t like your works, how you will be disappointed, and then you will understand that this is a negative, but still an experience, and you will still go along.
This simple exercise will help you understand if someone doesn’t like what you are creating – it’s not the end of the world. Everyone has his own journey in art.
If you feel worried or stressed, maybe it is the right time to try art-therapy? Have you heird of this? You can read an article about art-therapy here!